What the duck, Huck!
Well... We have ducklings. Most of you know that from Instagram. But if you don't, now you do. Once they're out of the house and integrated with the older ducks, I will post a recap of the entire experience. It's a lot like the last time, but less new and a lot easier. And a little less smelly because there are two instead of three. But today, I thought we could all use a little levity. Or Schadenfreude...whichever. So allow me to regale you with my tale of trying to transport two 6 week ducklings outside by myself:
When I was first put on work from home mid-March, I decided I would get two ducklings. It made perfect sense. I'd be home all day and everything would be great. I'd set the brooder up in my spare bedroom, just like we did the last time. Sure, I'd be working in there too, but we'd all be so happy together. Well... my two Blue Swedish ducklings, Astrid and Agnes, are about 6 weeks old and far too big to be in their brooder 24/7. Today, after a very long day of work, they started kicking up a fit, REALLY trying to bust out.
Alright, alright, I said. I will bring you outside to get some energy out in the enclosed duck run. I'll carry you downstairs, through the kitchen, and outside one by one. It will be easy. Easy with my 11 month old cattle dog under foot. I gather Agnes up into my arms as she screams, kicks, nips, and generally throws a hissy fit. I get her out of the bedroom, somehow managing to close the door behind me. Huck is under my feet. I get her down the stairs. Huck is under my feet. Through the kitchen, trying to reassure her that it will be ok as she screams bloody duckling murder. Huck...is under my feet. I somehow manage to get Huck to stay. Stay. STAY. STAY as I go out into the yard.
I get Agnes into the run but Rebecca follows me in. Now I have a big duck and a little duck enclosed in a cage match. Rebecca goes into duck attack mode and chases after the little. The little squeaks and honks, running circles around the run. Finally, I chase Rebecca outside and lock up the little. I go back inside to get Astrid and Huck, the puppy, bolts past me into the yard, chasing the big ducks. He trounces both of them since they can't escape to the safety of their run, and then runs crazed, thrilled circles around the yard, dashing hither and thither past my attempts to grab him and my screams of COME! and DON'T CHASE! Finally I get the dog. He is dragged inside.
I still need to get the other duckling. She is upstairs screaming because I've separated her from Agnes. Agnes is outside screaming as well. The big ducks want me to heck off and die. Huck is directly under my feet the entire time. I'm screaming at him to F*CKING STAY as I try to squeeze outside while holding the struggling duckling. Did I mention we just got new neighbors? Yea...they must think I'm the bees knees.
Now, I am drinking wine, rueing the fact that I have to do this all over again in an hour to bring the ducklings in before they get too cold*.
*This all occurred last week. I have learned my lesson and now Marcel and I do duckling transport together. It's still a disaster, but at least I'm not solo. The littles are feathering out and with any luck can move out permanently in a week or two.